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hello, chanwanting♥ here. 22yo this year. a gal who is trying hard to change herself to get a better life..


Exam Time Table




Bituwin - template
Dementee - image

Words from Before It's Too Late by Goo Goo Dolls.

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Monday, May 31, 2010
moody..



what a day...
woke up late..
mum said she tried waking me up..
but i felt nothing at all..
printed wisp with citations..
cabbed to sch..
stare at people lunch. lol..
aerospace..
"cheating" open-book quiz..
makan makan makan..
chat chat chat..
hand in wisp...
HOME..

nothing will remains the same.

<3

Sunday, May 30, 2010
thank you (:

thank you for walking by my side.
thank you for accompanying me.
thank you for not denying.
-to my fake bf


-dont try to make use of me.-

<3

Sunday, May 23, 2010
22.05.2010 NAVY OPENHOUSE!

WHOOSH! finally, i got to go for navy openhouse!!!!

some photos 1st:










because that guy is so so so so camera-shy, i only hv like, 3 of his photos. nvm, anyway! i hope they had a great time there too. sorry, make joan(darling) so hungry there. she must be feeling dam terrible. heng heng i got the pack of soy bean drink for her :D anyway, met yc(noob) at ard 1120. trained down to meet darling at tiong. mrt down allllll the way to expo. of cos, out came my camera and click click click wadeva i see. hahaha. see and got to know lots of stuff. and how heavy their weapons are. boarded a ship call endeavous. freaking big. came out at ard 4. ate BK@ expo. i know darling dam tempted to eat the fiery spicy. next time k? i promise. went to see the indonesia day in one of the hall after that. spotted this orange lamborghini inside. haha. after that went to dhoby ghaut arcade. den bus-ed home with darling. did something stupid on the bus. lol.
THANK YOU DARLING AND NOOB FOR GOING NAVY OPENHOUSE WITH ME!
PLEASE REMEMBER OUR PROMISES FOR NEXT YEAR'S AIR FORCE OPENHOUSE!
P.S: NOOB'S PHOTOGRAPHY SKILL IS LOUSYYYYY. LOL. (jk)
<3


Friday, May 21, 2010
existing, but blocked off..



i see the sun, but it's behind the clouds.

i didnt know i can still miss you so much even after letting u go..

but i am not crying. (:

<3

Thursday, May 20, 2010
lost...



seems lost.
very lost.
about life...

i thank you all my frens for being there with me.

<3

Wednesday, May 19, 2010
whether sun or rain



school has been fun fun fun. friends, lectures, studies, sleep. friends, lectures, studies, sleep. friends, lectures, studies, sleep. lol. this is what all my life is about now. nothing much to be updated.

may all of you stay happy and healthy always!

<3

Monday, May 17, 2010
i am sorry

DUDE! DONT YOU UNDERSTAND?!

I DECIDED TO LET GO OF YOU SINCE 19TH APRIL.
BUT WHY ARE U GETTING SO NEAR TO ME AGAIN?!
SHIT YOU!
I AM TRYING TO TREAT YOU LIKE A NORMAL CLOSE FRIEND.
AND YET YOU MAKE ME FALL FOR YOU AGAIN.
SHIT YOU!
WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME?!
NOT AS IF YOU LIKE ME TOO.
I DIDNT WANNA SPOIL YOUR LIFE PACE.
I DIDNT WANNA MAKE YOU FACE ANY DECISION.
COS I KNOW, YOU WONT LIKE IT.
SOMETIMES YOU GET SO NICE,
BUT SOMETIMES YOU SIMPLY CRAP THROUGH EVERYTHING.
DEN HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO TREAT YOU!?
YOU GIVE ME AN ANSWER?!
WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO?!
HOW YOU WANT ME TO SAY!?
WALK STRAIGHT INTO YOUR FACE AND SAY 'I LOVE YOU'?
WILL YOU BE ABLE TO TAKE IT?!
TELL ME! WAD IN THE WORLD ARE YOU THINKING?!
WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING TO DO!?
IT TOOK ME SO LONG, TO WALK OUT OF THIS TRIP
WHICH I STAYED FOR ONE YEAR PLUS WITHOUT STRUGGLING TO LEAVE
JUST BECAUSE I THINK YOU ARE WORTH IT.
BUT ONCE AND AGAIN YOU DISAPPOINT ME.
AND GIVE ME HOPE ANYTIME YOU LIKE.
I AM LIKE A FOOL HERE, BEING CONTROLLED BY YOU.

I HAD ENOUGH OF CRYING.
I HAD ENOUGH OF BEING SO EMOTIONAL.
I DONT WANT TO BE AFFECTED BY YOU ANYMORE.
SO CAN YOU TELL ME 'PLS GIVE UP ON ME'...

<3

Saturday, May 15, 2010
confused

has been seeing lots of things ard me recently...

studies has been a struggle.
CT is around the corner.
never ever am i gonna get one day of peace at home.
her mouth get itchy everytime she shuts up.
her heart get unbalance everytime other ppl are doing something which is not within her control.
all i can do,
is to keep quiet and do my studying..

to all my friends:
i have see many of you are actually having problems.
with family, with relationships.
when it comes to relationships,
i admit, i have no right to say anything at all.
but i promise,
i am always here to listen.
to stand by you,
to lend you a listening ear,
to lend you my shoulder.

i am sure that's the end, cos i finally felt the emptiness last night.

<3

Thursday, May 13, 2010
editted: boy-friend


can u see my heart for u??

10.05.2010 (monday)
had WISP lesson at DID. cool experience. i was scare of the dark since young, so everytime i lost the person in front, i start to panic. thank god my group is enthu enough. and dam helpful. :D after that CHIONG to alumni to meet darling, chanlin, christine and shuqing. but shuqing left when i reached ): after that nic came. noob yc came and stayed at makan place until darling end lesson. CHIONG with her to bbdc. LOL. super chiong. took a bus to JP after that.. bot my iphone case. loither around. waited for grace. and got my bian dang. :D THANK YOU to GRACE'S MUM and GRACE. dinner-ed (her bian dang for me) at the old bus interchange. den we took bus to blk 749 for our 1st 'meet-the-people session'.. surprisingly, we met meiyi there! super stun. the 3 CATS groupmates are back in action. LOL. see a lot of realistic stuff. learnt a lot.

11.05.2010 (tuesday)
"school-ed" met noob yc after that.. met my clique at makan place. settle down and went for mentoring. like, finally stepped in there again.. miss those kids a lot. thank u for the understanding. went to ntuc finest with darling after that.. and i saw CALPIS ICE CREAMMM... OMFG! dam tempted to buy. but there are icecreams at home. sigh.

12.05.2010 (wednesday)
school-ed the whole day until 4. BASKETBALL! lol. super fun. played until ard.. 6+ going 7. blisterssss. super pain blisters. i tried covering up those blanks from the past few days.. but seems like i failed.... ultimately, it is still a total failure.. sigh.

13.05.2010 (thursday)
school-ed until 1. walked to the bus stop with darling. den off i went to JP, while darling went for her driving. about to faint in the bus =.= so dam giddy. went to samsung to get the omnia 2 software upgraded. went to the lib while waiting for that one hour to pass. collected phone and walked ard for a while.. and home (:

-對天空的遼闊來說雲算什麼-

<3

Wednesday, May 12, 2010
boyfriend

will i dare to admit to you one day?

pls trust me when i tell u 'i love you'..

<3

Sunday, May 9, 2010
ranting 1..2..3..

tutorials are killing me...

8.6.10, saturday

met darling at bus stop and started walking to sch.
sorry, always make you wait for me.
reaching sch at 930, we went to play volleyball and captains ball with the guys.
great warm-up for the morning..
slowly, freshies started to fill up half the LT.
briefing and lunch-ed.
and off we went to start playing the games prepared.
but the rain kinda screwed up stuff.
went off at ard.. 7.
thank you gregory for driving us to hollandv!
darling, brice, weijian and i had katong laksa.
iris went for nasi lemak.
after that went to cold rock for ice creammmmmmm.
my dear freddo frog.
and hollandv has lots of memories..
sent darling home because she wasnt feeling very well.
parents fetched me from her hse and home i go!
wash clothes, transfer HP stuff, and off i went to slp!
wad a tiring day.
i hate bees and mosquitoes.

7.6.2010, friday

tax tutorial, afa tutorial.
afa lecture with kinder bueno-s and raisins chocolate.
bukit timah with christine, darling and yc.
pool with darling and yc.
kfc-ed.
home...

6.6.2010, thursday

not much memory. (sorry, i have stm) ...
blood donation with elisse.
while nicolette went to do her publicising shift and darling went for her driving.
met chanlin.
went to playground.
elisse went off earlier for band.
nicolette swing-ed.
brice was skating there.
went off at around 7.
i love saving lives.

<3


thank you (:

我僞装著 不露痕迹的
想在你身边 静静的陪著看著天边
骑著单车 往前行进著
某个路口 爱在等著

你往前走 不回头看了
记忆的笑脸 缓缓的敲著我的琴键
我不舍得 让你孤单单的
我爱你的心牵挂著

心不再拼命躲 不去害怕结果
假设有个以后你会怎麽说
一直想跟你说 幸福不再溜走
下个路口你会看见爱 有美丽笑容

爱转角遇见了谁 是否有爱情的美
爱转角以后的街 能不能有我来陪
爱转角遇见了谁 是否不让你流泪
也许陌生到了解 让我来当你的谁
我不让爱掉眼泪 不让你掉眼泪
现在永远 你就是我 就是我的美

(爱*转角-罗志祥)

thank you darling for being there for me when i need. thank you for the tight hug which controlled my tears.

thank you hui ting and wingsze for the warm hugs.

thank you brice for being concern when i walked away alone.

thank you kahbeng for the post on your blog.

thank you grace for that call which controlled my emotions.

thank you for letting me face and cope with this cruel reality..

<3

Friday, May 7, 2010
微笑 (:

选择的权利从来不会在我手上。。。

<3

Thursday, May 6, 2010
suicide

sometimes, i wonder..

with this character,
how in the world did i even managed to stay alive for 19 years....

<3