♥ the memories ♥

Friday, June 24, 2011

too small..

Bridging programme..
it's math, econ, math, econ, math and econs week by week. everyday except sunday.
you'll feel terrible when u start to lost track of what the lecturer is teaching.
the fact that i chose studying over work, i need to work even harder..

alexithymia- difficulty in experiencing, expressing, and describing emotional responses.

understandable? nope, i doubt so..
going to sch every day from monday to saturday,
i make myself look forward to lessons.
i made new friends, i still see a few friends.
school home sch home, that's life..

i miss the time at PSA,
doing work, drinking milo, taking nap, having great chat time..
but i guess it wont be happening again..
at least not within this short period.
hope my two ex-intern buddies are doing well there.
and of cos, the current staffs there..

that day i apologised, and you said there is no need to.
of cos, i was damn relieve when u told me u ain't angry that day.
thank you.

<3

Monday, June 20, 2011

bullshit!

i admit,

i like someone who i cant have.

i like someone who doesnt like me.

i like someone who has been going against me to prove to me how he detest my liking for him.

now to think back,

do i really still like you?

or was it that i am just unwilling to let go because i didnt get to get you?

but how come it simply hurt so much everytime u shoot me down with ur words.

bullshit about life can go on.

bullshit that things will get better..

bullshit telling people they will feel better..

BULLSHIT!

thanks to you, i end up crying again last night.

thanks to you, heartache appear again after i finally gave up that guy.

thanks to you, i realised how weak i am in relationship, without the rights to choose.

thanks to you, i see the facts of how guys wont like me..

dont think that you know peoople well.

dont think that only what you say are right.

because ur thinking can be so selfish and so extreme..

sometimes the words that comes out of ur months are also CRAP!

<3

Friday, June 17, 2011

vanishing, vanished..

sometimes, i just really miss you like shit..
sometimes, all i can think of is that i wanna kill you and forget you forever.
but is it possible that we become friends again?
is it possible that we can continue talking?
u say you are hurt,
you think i feel any better?

k, maybe u can just fuck off and make my life better,
dont even try to appear in my dream,
cos it will just make me think more and more.

didnt u ask me to forget you?
ya, okay, i will..
if only i can..
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

lesson is starting next week.
though i already went for econs lecture..
naggy teacher..
3 full hours lesson.
i wont get to slp until 10 anymore next week..
but doesnt matter,
at least i get to slp after lesson :D

no more aerobics,
no more pi-lates..
no more reasons to be there..

other than jessica's wedding,
23th july seems to be another important day.

<3

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

uoy...

cantseemstogetoveritwithinashortperiodoftime..
anditsucks..
andalliwantisjusttomoveon...

ihateyou..
butiloveyou...

<3

Saturday, June 11, 2011

i used to love these words..

cos my heart❤ chose to disagree with my brain

Saturday, June 4, 2011

idiot you.

too true..

why in the world did u ask me to forget you in the first place?

it's just so fucking hard.

as if you can forget me..

or maybe, you HAVE TO forget me.. right?

ain't that your mindset.

together, or stranger..

but i have to agree with it..

no grey area is allowed in such scenario anyway.

even if school is gonna start,

and my mind is gonna be kept occupied.

infatuation.. i hope so too.

the 'will' and 'must' needs to be together.

how hard can it get? at least i got 1.5 months to do so.

the next time i see you,

i will smile at you,

and lie through about how happy i was during this period.