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hello, chanwanting♥ here. 22yo this year. a gal who is trying hard to change herself to get a better life..


Exam Time Table




Bituwin - template
Dementee - image

Words from Before It's Too Late by Goo Goo Dolls.

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Friday, September 30, 2011


can someone please bring me to a beach, a very very very nice beach.
i really wish that i have a personal plane, with a plane license.
a very high target which i wish to hit.
but i know, i'm already working my way through.
studying hard to earn enough money in the future.


stupid boy, i realise how much i miss you sometimes.
but i'll start thinking, whether i've flash past your mind, for even that one second.
studying is killing me, and i need some motivation from you.
but i dare not rant to you. i dare not disturb you.
i dont even wanna let myself think of you,
finding way through to convince myself that studies is most important than relationship in these two years.

i have special people around me, motivating me to study..
1. joan darling: of cos, she's one of the most important one, because we are studying together once again. same sch, same timetable, same module, same aim.
2. joy dear: this gal is full of emo-ish feeling. too stress at home, at studies, at relationship. let go once in a while. trust yourself (:
3. nicolette: this gal has been MIA-ing since a week ago.. kind of worried bout her stress level and management, but i know she's busy, with studies, with exam, with reports..

don't blame someone else when you are doing the same thing yourself. what makes you think that you are that perfect. it's damn irritating to hear such shit. because you are an adult doesnt mean you have the rights to control and order unreasonable craps.

thanks for being such a nice person in front of the adults. cos sometimes i really hate you..
i love the time in school, i love the time alone, i love the time with peace..

<3

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Let me share with you,
How much i can hate you every single moment her mouth opens.

Is it her fault for nagging?
Let me tell you, it's your own fault!
For not understanding our effort to make you a better person.
All you do was to show attitude.
Who isn't irritated by her voice?
Who likes such thing?
But did u realise,
If you werent like this, do you think she will end up like that?

Yes, i failed as a elder sister.
You you failed as a student, as a grandson.
You were unable to understand the reasoning behind all the words she spoke to you.

I'm so sick and tired of all this,
I tried to help you,
I packed out everything for you after shouting and complaining to you so many times.
End up you said all of them were rough papers to be thrown away.
THEN WHY DIDNT YOU JUST THROW EVERYTHING AWAY IN THE FIRST PLACE?!
Don't I know and understand the pain as a student?
Ain't I trying to help you time and again?
Do you even feel grateful?
Do you know the meaning of the word "appreciate"?

Had a peaceful walk outside at the park,
and this amazing little boy who waved at me when he was on his way home.
His innocent smile, waving bye bye to a stranger, really made me so happy.
Thanks little boy. (:

<3

Saturday, September 17, 2011
i miss you..



sigh, i really miss little jriel and jaden a lot..
i wanna play with them, look after them, watch them grow..
that important change in a baby life to a little toddler.

of cos, i miss that stupid guy too..

<3

Thursday, September 15, 2011
6D haikou trip


(i'm so in love with that turtle!!)

i am back from my haikou trip! quite an amazing experience.
of course, going with grandparents, more or less, have a little burden.
travelling and waking up at 6am every morning is tiring.
China is always different, with all the history.
Even a simple and small place, with just a unique meaning and history behind it,
can turn it into a sigh-seeing venue for tourists.
Tour guide is a history-pro.
Coach driver is a speeding-pro.
Grandparents are a pair of quarreling-pro -.-

During the trip, I realised some things.
Some things which didn't come into mind before.
I survived well without a laptop.
I reduced my MP3 usage and volume.
I prayed sincerely, and there was a change in my condition.
I must keep my promise.
I manged to keep my mind off some things.

Coming back with the naggings and embarrassement,
I hid the anger (once again).
without anyone here for me to rant,
back I came, to this blog of mine.
Not a complain, not a single word,
it's time to let things pass again.

Next up in the list:
20th sept: the 1-year-anni with gals.
22nd sept: school reopen
29th sept: joy's birthday
20th oct: Joan's birthday
dec: HK trip! (planning in progress)

grats to you (:

<3

Sunday, September 4, 2011
laughters, the missing item in life..



spend the day at Leisure Park Kallang today! lunched with parents at a chicken rice stall at the basement. followed up by meeting grace and christine. been so long since the 3 of us meet out for a proper outting. headed to the bowling alley for 2 rounds of game. cheerio! grace managed to learn some basic skill in releasing the ball properly. glad i managed to maintain my score of 100-odd, since it has been years since i last played bowling. $4.50 a game (excluding shoes).. next up, ICESKATING! my second time playing, grace's and christine's first.. and YAY! christine and i managed to skate without holding to anything in the end.. and grace managed to let go of the wall ($13 for 2 hours + $3.50 for figures(skates) + $2 for gloves).. lastly, of cos the most important part, is DINNER!! but at kopitiam foodcourt. hahahaha! *super emo that i didnt get to eat my KFC*
trained to dhoby ghaut and grace went off from there. shopped challenger and daiso with christine. the final part without grace.... DESSERT! thanks to christine (:

I'm sorry to be pissing you off. Not that I did it on purpose, but you took my words to seriously, like what I did everytime you talk to me. To the extent that I'll always feel so fuckingly guilty and wants to move out of this house. I miss my own laughter.. I really really miss it, a lot.

<3