how long will it take me to?

waking up every morning, convincing myself that one day i'll be happy.

because i have to be satisfied and contented that i got a job.

feeling shag everyday after work, mentally shag,

the fear that some mistakes will pop out somewhere,

some careless mistakes which are not suppose to exist.

why is it that others can do it and i cant.

‘习惯’ 需要多久？

如果一直迟迟不能习惯，那是否代表我不适合？

是自己固执，还是软弱。

看不到自己的优点的同时，缺点却一一的浮现，变得越来越明显。

不喜欢别人以为有靠山就不必担心。

自己犯的错，最终还是要自己承担不是吗？

明天又是一个孤独的情人节。。。我好讨厌你。

the process

sitting on the bus, on the way to work, staring out of the window,
realising how lonely life is sometimes.
wondering how's life at your side, didnt wanna disturb your busy days,
but so so wanted your attention, even it mean just half an hour.
the dilemma, the urge, the decision,
affects one another.
the reply, the tone, the way we speak,
affects one another.
but no matter what the end product is,
the main point is that we chat.
you never like initiative, suckiest thing ever.
the fear of losing you in my life, you are always the person i wanna meet the second before i die.
you wont understand how it feels, because it doesnt bother you.
every few days, i'll open it, hoping to find some new surprises,
to convince myself that i still exist, somewhere in your brain.
because you know it well, what i am looking for, what i want.

slowly, time shows who are the true friends, who are just... friends.
hopefully things get clear, and so are the purposes and goals.

i have a friend, she's always there with me almost every sunday morning.
she runs with me, she explores with me, she plays with me.
Thank you girl.

1:50 PM ·