♥ the memories ♥

Saturday, February 28, 2009

NICOLETTE!

V(^.^)V

darlings <3

innocent faces

my face looks freaking fat. why?! cos they hiding behind me =.=

smiles. (:

JOAN!

ME!

exams is finally over! met joan 1st in the morning to do some market research in clementi. proceeded to city hall to meet another.... 7 ppl.LOL. yea. evelyn, audrey, anna, elisse, nicolette, pan, yong kian, me, joan. 9 of us, sat at mac till noon. did some discussion for the cheers thing. after that walked to suntec and went to arcade. den went to anchorpoint to have lunch with joan and nicolette. cab home after that. wah, seruiysly, i buay tahan d whole taxi ride. so zzz. seriously. she was.. k la. sharing with us about her and her rich bf. to me, mostly boasting. k. only mum and joan will know what i am talking about. reached home, mum drove and send joan home. i was already half aslp at the back seat. den after joan alight, i went to the front sit and really fell aslp. mum say wanna go buy chicken for dinner, den i ask her park the car and get down to buy her own, i slept in the car. with the doors unlocked. dam scary, in the end i lock my own side de =.= ... anyway, got home, and landed on the bed till 730. but kept waking up. 730 dinner, still half aslp. -tv-bathe-tv-phone with jane-msn chat- blog. again, i am slpy.... zz. i dont know why am i so slpy recently. is it cos the exam stress is gone? den can slp properly? i hope so...

*warning: this paragraph is full of crap. i doubt any of u will understand*

brain is so occupied this few days. chats with joan made me think more. about sch, about frens, about him(s). yea, i told her, i dreamt of him(s). dont quite rmb wad happened in my dreams tho. i realise, i changed. my attitude towards him(s) changed. no matter which him i am refering to. i realised my feeling for him isnt real. i realised, to another him, i am just... a passerby maybe. all i can conclude is, i dont wanna be a substitute. not when she's not there, u look for me, when u cant get her, u look for me in order to know where is she. it's... not a very nice feeling. being a great fren isnt easy, as i had found out. towards people who shows their real feeling, i'll do the same, in order to know u better, in order to let me know u better. BUT! have u ever realise, i am being a lil more, just a lil more, better to u, compared to the rest!? i bet, ur answer is no. but even if u do realised, 'big deal?' right?! no one ask me to, but i did it, so i's my own fault, correct? nvm, i am so numb to it. u have the others to help u, to support u, to be there for u, to play with u anyway. invisible crap. yea, me. if i were to disappear from ur life one day, will u ever realise i am gone? i doubt so. it's difficult not to see sometimes, but it is right in front of my eyes, how am i suppose to avoid it!?

(zzz. k, all the lines are like, by it's own. no linked. except for some.)

why is that a person can like another person and yet give hundreds and thousands of excuses and deny the whole fact of liking that another person?!