♥ the memories ♥

Thursday, August 5, 2010

for you...

so so so so tired!!!!!!

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thank you for the time you spent with me.. i really appreciate them. but it's time for me to let go. i didn't want to, i struggled for very long. but i guess i have to? i thought i will be able to hang on very long, to be there for you, and all along thought that's true love. but i realise, it gets tiring, and i will even wonder myself, is this really love. i force myself to believe, to stay strong for more than one year. yes, one year isn't very long, i shouldn't sound like i had like you for 5 years or 10 years. but you know, you are the first guy which i give in so much, which i hope to give you so much, just to keep you happy and smiling all the way. but did you appreciate? maybe you did, i shouldn't malign you, maybe it's just that you don't know how to express yourself. maybe you did, it might be me being insensitive when i am the one saying you are insensitive. maybe i have been blaming you wrongly, because i always think that you give no respond. but i knew, at some parts, you actually always help me to get the stuff i want, though you didn't want to. is it pride? or something i don't know. it's okay, i gave up waiting for an answer. from you, or from anyone around you. i though by my action, you can catch some hint. real stupid or fake idiot? i really can't tell. can you explain to me? do you really have no feel for me or am i pure stupid to think that you are giving me hope? these 2 years have been a hard one, but trust me, the feeling was so real before. i didnt know i can feel so happy when i see you being happy. that was my one and only aim, to keep you happy and that smile on your face. i wonder if you feel it, there is a person always here, listening to you, accompanying you, when u need a listening ear, be it happy things or sad things or any super lame thing. i got used to staying up late because of you, i got used to reading things on net because of you. i started listening to korean songs because of you (tho i didnt pang seh my chinese songs). you let me know a lot about this world, you make me gain knowledge though some things may be just crap. (: you brought fun into my poly life. even though the rumour may be floating around, but i don't mind, really, just because it's you. i might always ask you to deny, to prove our innocent, but i will really be freaking happy, if you were to admit, even if you did it in a joking tone. now that it has come to an end, i will stay strong, for the decision was made on my own, and i shall not regret. i do hope, we can be friends forever. and if you ever get to know, that i used to have feeling for you, please dont hide away from me. i dont want our relationship to turn sour, because i want to be friends forever.

p.s. you mentioned that you dont want to be the same as the others, now, let me tell you. you are always, the most unique person in my life. because i used to love you, with all my might, and all my heart.

let me end this beautifully alone, by myself..

<3