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hello, chanwanting♥ here. 22yo this year. a gal who is trying hard to change herself to get a better life..


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Words from Before It's Too Late by Goo Goo Dolls.

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Friday, April 29, 2011
happiness..



yes, i have been making my own life miserable.
has been rather nasty and mean.
i was emo, i was in a bad mood, i didn't control my emotions correctly.
it seems like it always happen to me.
'it is my fault', 'i'm changing', 'i've to change', 'i'm happier' all these are lies.
i didn't learn to appreciate, that i was given the chance to extend, though it was admin work.
i didn't learn to appreciate, that i had two interns with me for internship, i think i really irritate them sometimes with my temper and emo-ness.

i thought trust is there, but it seems like i was wrong.
ya, my own stupidness to believe that i can tell you things.

did i mention?
actually i am not worried about leaving a bad impression in you.
because if i continue on being good,
i wont know how to face you.
i have to plan and think of my every movements,
every words i wanna speak.
thats so not me.
maybe when i leave and vanish from your life, u will feel a lot a lot better.
words i can't speak, i tot you can read my mind.
actions i did, i tot you can see through it.
nvm, things will over soon.
at least from my point of view. (:
and i hope you will remain happy forever.

worried, very stress.
will the SIM UOL letter ever come?
they mentioned at least one month before lesson starts.. if bridging programme starts in June, shouldn't i be receiving my letter soon?
gave myself a few options..
still have to check on a few private schools like infomatics.
ACCA? some other plans?
i need to be clearer of my future..


leaving 'guys' out of my mind..
being more specific, relationship.
cos i am not worth the time of any guys now,
not that i got any guys wooing me anyway..
getting over you,
i want to, i need to. (:
and my promise to you,
that i wont mention anything about it again.
thanks, for being honest,
but if you ever change your mind,
remember to hint me and let me know about it ,
so that i can again put in my effort and leave no regret.

time to click out with friends more. (:

<3